Progress...

The quote that keeps coming to mind is "slow and steady wins the race". I hope that this is oh so very true. I know that on average you should lose approximately 2 pounds per week to be healthy in your weight loss. It's not like on the real Biggest Loser where people are losing 41 pounds in their first week! And, just like in us working our way out of debt, there are no magic pills to make the weight fall off (or the debt disappear). SO....this far I have lost 4 pounds and dropped a total of 5.5 inches! WOO HOO! I will take the small victories when I can! When I lose ONE more pound I will have reached my FIRST five pound goal and I will get to go and get a mani/pedi! COME ON ONE MORE POUND! Looks like I will be off to Zumba tonight to sweat my one pound off! =)
Good luck to those of you out there with the same challenges I am facing. We can do this!

Choosing to SEE...a book and life review

We have a women's book club at our church, Eastside Christian Church. Those of you that know me well know that I am not fond of reading. I have struggled with reading since I was a child. It takes me longer to read than others and I usually have to go back and re-read what I just read to comprehend what was said. With that being said, my sis-in-law said she was going to read the book for book club and encouraged me to do the same. I thought about it and thought why not? If I don't like it or end up not reading it I just won't go to the discussion (I know, not a very nice thought, but truthful). So I asked my sis-in-law to pick me up a book and I would pay her back. I needed something since I wasn't in a bible study right now anyhow.
So, the book we are reading for book club is Choosing to SEE by Mary Beth Chapman. I'm sure many of you know who Steven Curtis Chapman is...well she is his wife. And I'm sure most of you know of the tragic accident that devastated their family. Anyhow, if you don't know what I'm talking about go look it up, or better yet READ THE BOOK! I promise, you won't regret taking the short amount of time it will take for you to read this book.
Okay, I knew this book was going to be a tear jerker. I knew of the tragedy this family had experienced. I didn't realize, though, that there would be times when I would literally LAUGH OUT LOUD! I was reading late into the night while my husband slept next to me and I had to laugh quietly so not to wake him up. I couldn't put this book down! Amazing, absolutely amazing! Mary Beth Chapman is real as real can be in this book. There is no sugar coating going on when she talks of the heartache only a mother can experience when they lose a child. The entire time I was reading the story of that tragic day that would change their lives forever all I wanted to do was go upstairs and get my precious baby girl who lay sleeping in her crib. I wanted to snuggle her, kiss her, love her, and savor every moment. I would have gladly done that with my older two as well, however at the ages of 14 and 12 they are both bigger than me so it makes the snuggling part a little more difficult. That and they are teenagers, well a teen and a soon-to-be teenager in less than three months, so it's not really cool to snuggle your mom and tell her you love her...especially in public. =) I cried and cried as I tried to even begin to understand what pain she must be feeling...what their entire family must be feeling. It's a place you don't want to go, a place no one wants to go. It's a place that is so unfathomable that you can't even begin to imagine the immense hole in their hearts and souls. But the GREAT thing is....the AMAZING thing is....God! God is SO good, ALL the time! Even when we can't see it, He is there, holding our hands, guiding us, loving us, never leaving us, never forsaking us. And that, at times, can also be unfathomable that He loves you and me that much because the Enemy creeps in and whispers "you are not worthy of that kind of love." But if you listen closely enough you will hear God whisper louder than the Enemy "you are my child and I love you more than you could ever possibly know." Well, that's how I picture it in my head....probably because that's what I tell my kids and my husband, "I love you more than you could ever know!"
What I took away from this book was not only a view of a grieving parent and family, but how absolutely amazing God is, can be, and will be when you allow Him to work in your life. The key is, you have to listen. =) And when reading a book of this magnitude it is difficult NOT to reflect on your own life. A reflection of how can I be a better steward of what God has given me, how difficult it is to just sit and wait for God to lead you in the right direction, a reflection of relationships (past and present) and hurts (past and present) and how God can work to heal those wounds. The line from a song by Tom Petty comes to mind, "The waiting is the hardest part." (well, at least in my head that's who is singing that song...I could totally be wrong on that though.). The amazing thing that I see when I look back into my past is that I really don't "see" a lot before I met my husband. I mean, I see the memories that I made, but for the most part they are good memories. I don't have very many good memories of my mom before she died, but then again it's hard to remember things that happened before you were six years of age. She had her demons, as we all do. I can only hope and pray that she is with our Amazing God right now so that one day I will meet her and get to know all of those things that I have wondered about her for the majority of my life. She left this world on April 12, 1983 and our precious angel Arabella Grace would make that day once again a joyous occasion by entering this world on Easter Sunday (the day of the resurrection) April 12, 2009. Our God is an AWESOME God! God so blessed me with another mom and so my step-mom became my adoptive mom (I don't remember the exact date) sometime in 1984 (83/84...I was in second grade). That was also the year that I met my life-long friend Angi. She and her family were my second family. They were and still are an amazing example of a Christian family. They planted seeds in me that are still with me today. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything!
Well, let's see...after that there was happiness and heartache. There were times of pure sadness and joy. Great choices made and some really not so great choices made too. I did everything backwards. I got pregnant, married, graduated from college, and got divorced...in that order (and I was ever SO thankful for my baby boy that came from my not so great choices. He has been such a blessing in my life!) . I was far from God, but I know He was still with me. Then, one spring day a friend of mine called me and invited me to lunch with her and some of her co-workers. Why not? I didn't have any plans for lunch that day AND they were going to eat Mexican...I couldn't resist! That was the day my whole life changed. I met the most amazing man! I fell in love with him the moment our eyes met. We have had our fair share of ups and downs along the way, but because of him I went back to church and went back to God. We didn't make all the right choices at first. We moved in together after only knowing each other for two short months, our kids were part of our "living in sin" because where else were they going to go? And we were figuring out how to "blend" our lives and our families together. One thing I love, love, love about my husband is his heart. He has such a big heart! He entered Skyla's life when she was four and left her mom’s life (his marriage) three years later. He didn't want Skyla to think that every man that came into her life was going to leave so he made sure to continue to be a part of her life. I am SO thankful that he did! Our family would not be complete without her! Anyhow, we realized we wanted to get married, but wanted to do it the "right" way. So we decided to meet with one of our pastor’s about getting baptized. He told us that he wouldn’t baptize us until we got married. He said that God wasn’t blessing our relationship by living together and not being married. So Aaron and I talked about getting married and we decided on September 23, 2005. We had already told our families that when we got married they wouldn’t know because we wanted it to be about us. We planned on getting baptized on Saturday, September 24, 2005 and invited our families to the baptism. That was how we planned on telling them that we had gotten married. J The day we got married it was Vince (our pastor), Marissa (his daughter), Angela (my friend who introduced us), Aaron, and me. It was perfect (besides the fact it was 93 degrees at the end of September!)! The next day we were baptized and announced to our families and our church that we were married the day before. They were all flabbergasted and ecstatic at the same time. I think I don’t “remember” much from my past before that day because God washed all my sins away. THANK YOU JESUS!

My story in some ways is similar to Mary Beth Chapman’s. I am a control freak and planner by nature. I had it all planned out. I had graduated with my teaching degree, I was going to teach kindergarten, we were going to buy a house, and live happily ever after. I didn’t plan on the million doctor’s visits for pain from my endometriosis, or the several surgeries to remove the Adenocarcenoma In Situ (that means cancer in place or stage 0 cervical cancer), I didn’t plan on being told to finish our family or a hysterectomy, I didn’t plan on having three miscarriages along the way, I didn’t plan on finally conceiving Arabella Grace and her twin that didn’t make it past the first few weeks (which was funny and not all in the same breath as I would joke with Aaron that we were having twins, triplets, etc. You should’ve seen both of our faces that day in the ultrasound room when we saw TWO sacs!), I didn’t plan on her turning breech after my water broke and having to have an emergency c-section, I didn’t plan on resigning from my teaching job to be a stay-at-home mom, no…I didn’t plan for any of these things, but God did. Our God is an awesome God, He reigns from heaven and earth, with wisdom, power and love our God is an AWESOME God!

This book made me realize that I really need to stop planning and let God take control. All I kept thinking when she was screaming WHY at God is that I am constantly asking that same question to my husband. Why did they do this? I don’t understand how our relationship went from great to difficult, distant, almost forced in the matter of minutes (not my husband and me). Then I become angry and want to speak my mind. Then I know that I just need to give it to God and He will make all things right. That’s a LOT easier said than done, but I know over time God will make all things right because He is bigger than all of us!

“Call on me when you are in trouble, and I will rescue you, and you will give me glory.”

~ Psalm 50:15

Silly Bella Fun

You never know what a day with Bella may entail. It's one of life's little mysteries. However, you can be SURE that we will have some fun along the way! =)

Fun with the neighbors...it ended up being Bella and Eli in Frodo's dog cage. They were having a BLAST! =)

My little diva!

Who knows? It was silly and funny...two things we love to do the most!

Yes it's January and my daughter has on flip flops. Why? Well, two reasons I'm sure.
1. She is going to LOVE shoes like her mommom (I'm not mama I'm mommom)
2. Mom wears flip flops all year long so she can too, right? =)

Being "big" like the rest of us...trying to put on her brother's deodorant!

Someone got a haircut!

No more mullet in the back! YEA!

Now, if she would just let me put a barrette in her hair to keep her bangs out of her face I would be ECSTATIC! =)

Before Pics...

MAN! Do I REALLY have to post these pics? I am so disappointed in my shape. I used to take such good care of myself before I had kids and then once I had kids I just forgot to put taking care of me at the top. I decided I needed to take care of everyone else and not me. If I don't start taking care of me then I won't be around to take care of those I love. SO, here are the before pics....not for the faint of heart! You don't really realize what you look like until you are staring back at this

Side view....not so nice
Back side...flab and all
My before scale pic...164! WHAT? I usually weigh in the AM so I counted my starting weight at 162lbs. My goal is to reach 132lbs.
My hottie hubby! I really don't know why he wants to lose weight. He is awesome just the way he is! I love you babe!
Side view...I'm sure with him, as with most guys, he would like to be "Bigger" (more muscle)
His before scale...right at 180. He only weighs 15 pounds more than me. That's oh so sad.

OUR own biggest loser challenge

SO, with the new year Aaron and I decided it was time to get back in shape! I have put on 10 pounds since this summer! OUCH! My clothes are tight and I am just NOT happy being this out of shape. Aaron is not in the same boat as me, then again he didn't have a baby and a hysterectomy within the last year and a half. Needless to say I am the one with the biggest weight loss goal. But hey, that's OKAY! We are doing this TOGETHER! We are supporting each other and we are going to look GREAT on the beach when we FINALLY take our kids on our first vacation in SIX years! Yes, you read that right! SIX years! I have my goals on the fridge where I can see them every day! My ultimate goal is to lose 30 pounds. Then I have smaller goals built into the big goal. For example, once I lose 5 pounds then I get to get a mani/pedi! (WOO HOO! I CAN'T wait!). For every 5 pounds I lose I reach another goal with some sort of reward. Oh yeah, I made up all the goals and rewards so I can't WAIT to hit them all! Shopping is one of my goals too! =)
Aaron would like to lose 10-15 pounds (from where I'm not sure). Together we are working on eating better (not that we ate horrible before, but we could definitely work on healthier eating) and encouraging each other to work out. Turbo Jam is one heck of a work out! AND I have also started Jillian Michaels Yoga Meltdown...OMGosh! Yeah, that'll definitely get you in shape! AND I'm on the EASY level! My goodness! Tomorrow night I get to go check out a Zumba class with my friend Cassie. I can't wait! I have heard SO many great things about Zumba and that once you start you become addicted! I would LOVE to be addicted to exercise and NOT chocolate! =) Anyhow, I hope I LOVE it because when I reach my 15 pound weight loss goal then I get to get the Zumba Total Body Transformation DVD set!
One more thing Aaron and I are doing is tracking our food intake and exercise. I have downloaded two apps on my iPhone to help us track. I am using MyFitnessPal and Aaron is using The Daily Burn.
I can't wait to see our before and after photos! Before pics will be posted either tonight or tomorrow along with starting weights and measurements! If we can do this so can you! So join us for our very own biggest loser challenge!

Biggest Loser

Anyone out there watch the show the Biggest Loser? Well if you don't you should! Not only is it motivating and inspirational, it has our friend's girlfriend on it! Can I hear you saw WOW?!?!?! Well, we are avid BL fans (when we can remember to watch it) and this season we are going to DVR each episode in case we forget it's on one night (which we do quite often). So if you missed last night's episode that's okay, we will forgive you! ;-) Check out team GREEN! Go Jen and her dad Jay!
PS
I also really like the purple girls! And Courtney...she is a MACHINE! And she is a fellow Hoosier attending IUPUI!
Check it out next week! Tuesday night at 8:00 on NBC!

New Year's Day

On New Year's Day we went to Aaron's mom's house (aka Momma Linda or Grandma Linda) for our Christmas gift exchange. We drew names and did like a "White Elephant" or "Dirty Santa" (or if you're me you will call it a Dirty Elephant) style gift exchange. You weren't allowed to buy anything. All the gifts had to be from your house. It was fun and interesting to say the least!Aaron drew Veronica's name. We re-gifted some gifts we got at a White Elephant party we went to. He gave her some hot pads, a picture frame (because we had one just like it), and some note cards.

Here is Dale opening his gift from Skyla. She gave him The Period Book (for laughs) and the Johnny Cash book!

Bella got Camryn's name. She gave her some clothes and suckers. Behind Camryn is Christi and next to her is her friend Buck.

Skyla and Garrett played Santa and passed out the gifts. Here is Bella opening a gift.

Christi drew my name and gave me one of her button bracelets. Very cool!

Momma Linda being happy and smily as always while G$ opens his gift from Grandpa Mike and Nana Veronica.

Garrett drew Mike's name (or Mick as Garrett spelled it on the box). He gave him a Book of Knowledge, some used Scotch tape, and candy.

I drew Skyla's name so I gave her a "late night walmart run" pass, a Christmas CD because she LOVES Christmas music (NOT!), and some gloves.

NYE with the neighbors at our house!

Webcamming with our friends the Gabberts who moved to New Orleans in November. And yes, for some reason this was the ONLY pic I took of our neighbors being here. I didn't even get everyone in the pic!

Bella before she crashed out!

Me being silly

My family minus Bella who was asleep

Aaron pretending to be asleep

Peace from G$

Skyla with her goldfish!

UofL/UK game on NYE

Bella was busy checking everything out and wouldn't look at the camera

Still NOT looking!

Almost looking, but she had to have her boots on!

Random...even if it's random it's still fun!

Marlon!

She LOVES her babies!

She LOVES shoes!

Silly fun with her boots and a tupperware lid!

Laying down with Marlon...so sweet!

The Boots

Bella LOVES her boots that Aunt Robyn and Uncle Jimmy got her for Christmas! She wants to wear them everywhere and ALL the time! Here is Bella in her boots in Walgreens

In her dress on Christmas Day

Even in her PJ's!

Christmas Night

Bella with Nana opening her We Did It Dora!

Family! My sis Adele

Grandma Linda and Grandpa Dale

Aunt Robyn (or Robbie as Bella calls her) and Uncle Jimmy (or my Jimmy as Bella says)

Silly Papaw

Bella with Grandpa Mike

Christmas Afternoon

Skyla got Toy Story 2 (Bella got the first one and Garrett got the third!)

They ALL three got an I heart Butt Drugs shirt! =)

Someone was excited about their shoes!

Their joint gift. We try and get them one each year. This year...Scrabble (or scruffle as Garrett called it)!